Life Coaching

Information about life coaching and enjoying a healthy, fulfilled life.

Special Education Distance Learning During COVID 19

Special Needs Advocate/IEP CoachLeave a comment

Confused about whether your child should be receiving special education services if their school is closed because of COVID-19? You are not alone.

Soon after the COVID-19 crisis caused schools across a number of states to shut down, the United States Department of Education posted a Q&A on its website regarding states’ responsibilities to provide special education services under the federal Individuals with Disabilities in Education Act while their public schools were closed.

The USDOE’s Q&A caused an uproar because it suggested that public schools were prohibited from offering educational programs to special education students via distance learning. The Q&A also suggested that the right to a legally required free and appropriate public education was contingent upon whether general education students were receiving instruction, too.

Based on the USDOEs Q&A, some school districts decided to halt instruction entirely, under the assumption that they need not provide special education students with a free and appropriate public education during the closures.

As a result of both the backlash and mounting confusion, the USDOE has attempted to clarify its position through a “supplemental fact sheet” it posted on its website.

The USDOE stated that school districts should not close or deny distance learning opportunities, particularly because they can be used to provide services to special education students. The USDOE made clear that school districts can effectively provide many special education services via modifications, such as through video and telephonic conferences.

However, the USDOE also noted that the nature of some related services render them challenging, and perhaps unsafe, to administer from afar, such as occupational therapy. Needless to say, many special education students who receive physical therapy services (and other services considered unsuitable for refashioning) will be negatively affected during the school closures.

Closer to home for our law firm and most of our clients, the New Jersey State Legislature has passed Assembly Bill 3813, which currently awaits New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy’s signature.

The bill requires state school districts to give special education students the same access to remote instruction as general education students have (to the extent that access is “appropriate and practical,” which is something advocates contend the IDEA already requires). The bill also expressly authorizes school districts to provide speech language and counseling services through an alternative format.

And just today, April 1, 2020, the state of New Jersey issued rules applicable in a public health emergency (pursuant to the authority granted to agency heads by Executive Order 107, the State of Emergency signed by Governor Murphy), relaxing the general rules regarding the delivery of related services, and permitting them to be provided remotely.  This is a good step toward getting children with disabilities back on track.

Despite the USDOE’s attempts to calm fears and refine its position, we remain in uncharted waters. Because the navigation is sure to be choppy during these uncertain times, you may be confused as to what special education services your children should be receiving, and what legal options are available to them in the event the services are not provided.

We at John Rue & Associates, LLC are here to help.

If you have any questions or concerns regarding the impact school closures have on your student’s education, please contact us at (862) 283-3155 for a free preliminary consultation.

John Rue & Associates, LLC

www.johnruelaw.com

John Rue & Associates New Jersey Education Lawyers www.johnruelaw.com John Rue & Associates can help with your real life legal issues, from education disputes with your local public school & discrimination by school officials, as well as family & civil litigation.

“Doing Well by Doing Good.”

(862) 283-3155

Home-bound

Special Needs Advocate/IEP CoachLeave a comment

How are your classified children dealing with the home/virtual learning?

Forgive my absence, I guess I’m a little depressed over the Coronavirus and the so called “Home/Virtual” schooling that’s supposed to be taking place. I’ve been meeting with my tutoring students both in person and virtually, and am totally dismayed at the lack of instruction, and support provided to those kiddo’s with IEP services of In-Class Resource (ICR). They’ve become the forgotten, and their parents are trying to pick up the slack.

Not to mention all the students that were in a “Self Contained” classroom setting; I find they’re schooling has been left completely up to parents. Many of whom have no idea how to teach special needs, the concepts of ABA style learning, or implement OT and PT practices. I mean these children are experiencing regression BIG TIME, and no-one seems to care?

Now normally this is a big time for me… you know…. IEP Season! A time when we are usually reviewing your child’s IEP and coming together in Review Meetings to discuss what worked and what didn’t? Well, THIS IS NOT WORKING!!!

Teachers are still receiving their salary to sit at home and spit out an email saying; do pages 14 & 15 in science book today, and complete pages 12-18 in math…. yadda yadda, Now I know there are some districts out there doing it differently, but where I am that’s about the sum of it. In the mean time children on the spectrum, struggling with dyslexia, or attention deficit aren’t being instructed at all in a manner that they (or their parents) can reproduce at home. All while these poor parents are either trying to complete their own work or worse yet, laid off or unemployed.

So, that’s my rant for today. I’ll try to be more present in the weeks to come. What are you struggling with? Do you need some coaching in how to teach your special needs child? Do you need support? Some guidance? Someone just to talk to? I’m here. I can be reached through my Facebook Page, via email at specialneedsnj@hotmail.com, or call (973) 534-3402

What do you want to talk about today?

IEP Coach/Advocacy

Special Needs Advocate/IEP CoachLeave a comment

“Cc: 3 people on every email.”

This was one of the best pieces of advice Linda gave us and we hadn’t even signed a contract with her yet!

My son has been in the public school system since he was three years old. After being asked to leave multiple daycares, one owner suggested we contact our school district’s CST and have him tested. He was tested and was deemed eligible for their special needs pre-school program. He started with half-days and transitioned to full days.

As parents, we thought we were doing the best for him. We had our IEP meeting and everything was great. Boy do I wish I knew what was ahead of me!!!

Kindergarten started off okay, but then he was put on home instruction because he was a “public health” risk. I had hired a different advocate then, but she didn’t do a thing for me. I even contacted a special needs attorney who offered advice and we were able to get him back into school.

First grade, again started off okay, but then it went downhill. At one of the many meetings with the school, we raised the question of out of district placement. Oh no, we were told. Multiple times that year, while being summoned to the school to pick up our son due to his current behaviors, arriving and being shuttled into an impromptu meeting, we would say, perhaps out of district placement is the answer and we were told No, we have not done everything we can for him yet.

In the spring, I contacted Linda. Best thing we could have ever done. At our first meeting, she gave me so much information and I thought to myself, I had no idea that I was the person in control of my son’s IEP meetings. Linda took the time to review all of my son’s records and ask what we wanted for our son. Together, we devised a plan to fight for our child and the education he deserved. Linda is a bulldog. She knows how to ask the tough questions that parents don’t want to ask or know to ask. She is upfront and always responsive.

Months and months of meetings and emails and unfulfilled requests, we wound up in court. We had no choice. Days before my son was supposed to start his new school, I was still getting “bullied” by the school district and administrators.

My son has been in his new school since the end of November and he is doing outstanding. He was named “Student of the Month” this past month and received his first report card – all A’s and B’s. He has not been sent home once! When his teacher calls me for a weekly status update, she is nothing but positive. We could not be happier and more proud of our child. We credit a lot of people, but without Linda, our son would not be in the proper educational atmosphere, he would not be as successful as he is and I would not have my sanity.

Get yourselves educated. Know your child’s rights and your rights as parents. Understand that they are not in control of your child’s educational future, you are. Hire an advocate (IEP Coach/advocate Linda’s email specialneedsnj@hotmail.com and website www.specialneedsnewjersey.com) who understands the special educational system. School administrators take advantage of the that fact parents do not know all the ins and outs of how the system works and for many, including myself, there is so much more than just that little PRISE book they give you at the meeting.

Stand your ground. Ask questions. Ask for documentation and communication in written form. Control the conversation and the meetings. And most importantly, every communication should include at least people!!!!!

Nicole K.

Nicole is one of the parents I have served through IEP Coaching and Advocacy. You will be hearing more of her story in future posts.

If your child is struggling in Special Education, you need to learn the ins-and-outs of Special Education, have questions about what the PRISE booklet is all about, or have a newly diagnosed or classified child in your family…. Contact me at (973) 534-3402 or send an email to specialneedsnj@hotmail.com, or go to my website and fill in the contact/request form www.specialneedsnewjersey.com. NOTE: Don’t let the NJ part put you off, I serve ALL states! The laws of the IDEA are national! Some practices, policies, and timelines vary state to state, but YOUR RIGHTS and the rights of YOUR CHILD are the same across ALL borders! (NJ is simply where I am located and it was the best available domain when I started.)

I hope to hear from you soon to learn how I can help you help your child.

Coach Linda

IEP REVIEW SPECIAL

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Get your IEP review!   30% off

Contact me at linda@darknesstojoy.com or specialneedsnj@hotmail.com to request your special price.

ONLY $97.99
(That’s 30% off the regular price!)

What you get:

  • Complete Review of your child’s IEP
  • Your top 3 concerns or questions answered
  • A 50 minute consultation via phone, Skype, or face-time
  • Expert advice and tips
  • How to approach the CST team
  • What letters to write and how

Parent Coaching/Family Coaching

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Parent Coaching / Family Coaching

You owe it to your child….

Does your family struggle with a behaviorally challenging child? Is everything a battle? Does your child feel unseen, bullied, lack meaningful friendships, having trouble socially, and or academically?

Linda is a credentialed professional in Special Education, Behavioral interventions, and parent coaching. She has many years of ABA experience, teaching, tutoring, mental health management, as well as life experience to guide and assist you with your child/ family and the day to day problem behaviors.

When addressing parenting and family related problems, only someone that has experienced the same concerns that you face can effectively assist you. Licenses as well as certifications are but part of the equation to problem resolution. Real-world experience is invaluable in this regard…


Your family and/or child  Needs Help if…

Is someone in your family diagnosed with….

  • Autism/Asperger’s
  • ADHD/ADD
  • Anxiety
  • Have an IEP
  • Depression
  • Bipolar Disorder, (IED) Intermittent Explosive Disorder
  • Personality Disorder
  • Academic Difficulties in reading
  • Been Bullied
  • Have social phobia’s
  • Social Skills Disorders
  • etc…

Parent Coaching for the family by a Behavioral Expert

 Nationally: Phone Consultations / Video Chat/ Skye/ Face Time services available

Records Review and IEP consultations are available by appointment

In Person Consultations available in by appointment

 Behavior Analysis and Professional training:

–    Applied Behavior Analysis

–    Positive Behavioral Supports

–    Teaching Family Model

–    Case Review

–   Treatment plan development and more…

  • online and phone supports
 Professional Parent and Family Coaching sessions are for :

Mothers

Fathers

Foster and Stepparents

Grandparents

Siblings and Other Caregivers

 It’s up to ALL of us to make the changes! Don’t wait for what you think is the right time… “I need better insurance, can’t afford the help, maybe he/she will grow out of it…”

Is that internet service, video game subscription, cable TV, cell phone, dinner out at the fast food joint, movie, or even vacation more important than the health of your family?

Invest in the future of our children.

Now’s the time.

We can’t have another child die from being neglected, and families suffer horrible consequences. Don’t be that guy who says…. “if he/she only got the right help.”

GET HELP NOW…call 973-534-3402

to make an apoointment

For additional information please contact us at… specialneedsnj@hotmail.com

or fill in your contact information and we will call you

HELP! I Need a Parenting Coach

Special Needs Advocate/IEP CoachLeave a comment

Linda McDougall-Leenstra will come into your home by phone or video call and give you an action plan to bring the order and calm you desire. No matter how chaotic things feel right now, you will see improvement after the very first call. Whether you schedule one coaching call or multiple sessions, Linda can help you fix the most frustrating parenting struggles…:

  • Morning routines – Kids that drag their feet and struggle to get out the door on time.
  • Bedtime and Sleep issues – Is it a battle to get your child into bed and have them stay there all night long?
  • Back Talk – A common problem sweeping our nation, but you don’t have to tolerate it!
  • Not Listening – Are you constantly repeating and reminding?
  • Power Struggles – Why is everything a battle?
  • “Sibling Rivalry” – Are you a referee in your own home?
  • Entitlement Epidemic – Do your kids feel a sense of entitlement?
  • Tantrums – From toddler’s to teens…learn to tame the tantrums from an expert in behavior.
  • Whining – Wean them off the whining for good…and so much more.
  • Disability diagnosis’, IEP, and school issues – They don’t see in school what you see at home?
  • Linda is a trained Special Educator with years of experience working with behavior difficulties

“I saw improvements after my first session with Linda. It was great a breath of fresh air to know that I’m not doing everything wrong, that my son isn’t ‘bad’ and that it took just a few small changes I could make that would have such a huge impact.”

Linda is a knowledgeable and experienced parenting coach and teacher, and we gladly recommend her to all the parents we can!” – Karen Welcome

TAKE THE FIRST STEP

Complete the form above to receive information and get started on the path to a new life

What you can expect from Life Coaching

Special Needs Advocate/IEP CoachLeave a comment

new-picture

Coaching is being someone’s personal confidante, guide and support as they move forward in life reclaiming their own viewpoint, direction, abilities, knowledge, responsibility, power, and freedom. The choice to live their lives to their highest potential. Helping them have the freedom to make their own unique contribution to the world.

When we begin to do what we want, it truly becomes a different kind of life!

With a Life Coach you can discover how to be more effective, more satisfied, and increasingly successful in the roles you play throughout life.

A life coach can help you…

  • Identify what you want in life
  • What you want to be
  • What you want to have
  • Design action plans
  • Help you identify and remove barriers
  • Reach your goals
  • Get things done
  • Prioritize and execute
  • Have a great time while achieveing new dreams

 

The Emotions of Caring for Elderly Parents

Special Needs Advocate/IEP CoachLeave a comment

As your parents or your spouse’s parents get older, they will probably need your help. They will also possibly need professional help with their daily care. The very people whom you depended on in the past will be turning to you for assistance. The fundamental nature of your relationship with your parents will change in a more dramatic way than you have ever experienced. Now you and your spouse will be the caregivers.

Caring for your parents as they get older is often a stressful experience. There are many emotions you might experience along with your new responsibility. When you become the caretaker of your parents, it’s very important for you to be aware of your emotions. It can make the difference between having a meaningful, rewarding experience and having one of the worst experiences of your life. The following sections describe the most common emotions people feel when they are faced with their parents becoming older and less independent.        

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Denial

One of the first things you might feel when facing a parent’s decline in function is—nothing. It’s very common to initially be in denial about a difficult situation. When you are in denial about something, you are trying to convince yourself that it’s not really happening. For instance, imagine that your father, who lives alone, is slowing down and becoming weaker. You want to keep thinking of him as strong and healthy, so you tell yourself that he’s generally fine. In the short run, that makes you feel better. But, your father probably shouldn’t be living alone. And you won’t be able to help him find a safer place until you are able to acknowledge his limitations. Denial can prevent you from facing facts and making necessary plans.

Anger

Another emotion you might feel is anger at your parents for being unable to take care of themselves. For example, you might feel that it’s their fault for not staying healthy, even though you know that they are not getting sick on purpose. You might resent the fact that they are taking so much of your time and energy. You are especially vulnerable to feeling anger if your relationship with your parents was less than perfect. It’s more difficult to take care of someone that you feel some resentment toward. But, even if you have a great relationship with your parents, caring for them might feel like a huge burden. It makes sense that you might feel angry because you have been shouldered with a big responsibility.

Think Twice

Don’t take your anger at the situation out on your spouse. Instead, discuss your feelings of anger or resentment with him or her. Remember that your spouse can be your strongest source of support during this difficult time.

Helplessness

Even though you are grown up, you might feel like your parents should always be there to take care of you and still help you through difficult times. Seeing your mother or father helpless can make you feel helpless. You might think “If my parents can’t take care of me, who will?” You are your parents’ child, even as an adult. And when one of your parents is weak, part of you is going to feel like a scared, helpless child. Even though you know that you can take care of yourself, you still might feel that you need your parents to take care of you.

Guilt

Guilt is one of the strongest emotions people feel as a parent becomes older and less able to care for him- or herself. There are many reasons that you might be feeling guilty. You might feel that you are not doing enough to help your parents. This might be true, or you might be doing more than a reasonable amount and feel guilty anyway. You might feel that if you had done something different years ago, then your parent would not be so ill now. For instance, you might think that if you had taken your mother’s complaint about feeling weak and tired more seriously, her cancer would have been diagnosed earlier and she would have been cured.

If one of your parents is very sick and needs a lot of expensive care and a lot of your energy, you might be secretly wishing that he or she would die so that it would be over. This thought would probably cause you to feel incredibly guilty. It’s very common to feel this, and it’s a completely normal reaction. It doesn’t mean that you don’t love your sick parent and it doesn’t mean you are a terrible child. It means that it’s very difficult and possibly very expensive to care for an ill person—realities that can prompt all kinds of unexpected thoughts and feelings. The best way to deal with these feelings is to acknowledge them but still do as much as you can to care for your parents.

A Sense of Loss

When your parent is no longer functioning at 100 percent, that is a big loss. It’s normal to feel sad, and it’s actually a mature feeling. Feeling sad when your parents are ill and unable to take care of themselves means that you have accepted the situation and the loss that occurs when your parent’s health declines. You shouldn’t hold back tears. Crying is part of feeling sad and it’s okay to express your emotions. That doesn’t mean that you should spend years moping around and crying as your parents become more and more ill. But sadness comes with loss, and you should give yourself permission to feel it.

Mortality

Parents are the buffer between you and your mortality. Most people are able to ignore the inevitability of their own death as long as their parents are alive and healthy. But as your parent’s health declines, you will probably become highly aware of your own mortality. You might start thinking about the end of your own life or have frequent nightmares about dying. You might start examining where you are in life and re-evaluating your long-term goals. When you face the death of someone close to you, it will often spark thoughts about your own life. This is good, and the way to make use of this constructively is to realize how precious life is and what is really important to you.

CARING FOR THE CAREGIVER:

Special Needs Advocate/IEP CoachLeave a comment

Caring for the Caregiver 

 

Changing the course of your child’s life with special needs can be a very rewarding experience. You are making an enormous difference in his or her life. To make it happen, you need to take care of yourself. Take a moment to answer these questions: Where does your support and strength come from? How are you really doing? Do you need to cry? Complain? Scream? Would you like some help but don’t know who to ask? 

“Remember that if you want to take the best possible care of your child, you must first take the best possible care of yourself.”

Parents often fail to evaluate their own sources of strength, coping skills, or emotional attitudes. You may be so busy meeting the needs of your child that you don’t allow yourself time to relax, cry, or simply think. You may wait until you are so exhausted or 
stressed out that you can barely carry on before you consider your own needs. Reaching this point is bad for you and for your family. 

You may feel that your child needs you right now, more than ever. Your all to familiar  “to do” list may be what is driving you forward right now. Or, you may feel completely overwhelmed and not know where to start. There is no single way to cope. Each family is unique and deals with stressful situations differently. Getting your child started in treatment will help you feel better. Acknowledging the emotional impact of having a child with special needs, and taking care of yourself during this stressful period will help prepare you for the challenges ahead. Many disabilities are pervasive, multi-faceted disorder’s. They will not only change the way that you look at your child, they will change the way you look at the world. As some parents may tell you, you may be a better person for it. The love and hope that you have for your child is probably stronger than you realize. 

Here are some tips from parents who have experienced what you are going through: 

Get going. Getting your child started in treatment will help. There are many details you will be managing in an intensive treatment program, especially if it is based in your home. If you know your child is engaged in meaningful activities, you will be more able to focus on moving forward. It may also free up some of your time so you can educate yourself, advocate for your child, and take care of yourself so that you can keep going. 

Ask for help. Asking for help can be very difficult, especially at first. Don’t hesitate to use whatever support is available to you. People around you may want to help, but may not know how. Is there someone who can take your other kids somewhere for an afternoon? Or cook dinner for your family one night so that you can spend the time learning: Can they pick up a few things for you at the store or fold a load of laundry? Can they let other people know you are going through a difficult time and could use a hand? 

Talk to someone. Everyone needs someone to talk to. Let someone know what you are going through and how you feel. Someone who just listens can be a great source of strength. So many parents concentrate on the therapies their child needs and ignore or deny the fact that they made need therapy too!  If you can’t get out of the house, use the phone to call a friend.

“At my support group I met a group of women who were juggling the same things I am. It felt so good not to feel like I was from another planet!”

Consider joining a support group. It may be helpful to listen or talk to people who have been or are going through a similar experience. Support groups can be great sources for information about what services are available in your area and who provides them. You may have to try more than one to find a group that feels right to you. You may find you aren’t a “support group kind of person.” For many parents in your situation, support groups provide valuable hope, comfort and encouragement. 

                                                             Links to local Family Services coming soon

Try to take a break. If you can, allow yourself to take some time away, even if it is only a few minutes to take a walk. If it’s possible, getting out to a movie, going shopping, or visiting a friend can make a world of difference. If you feel guilty about taking a break, try to remind yourself that it will help you to be renewed for the things you need to do when you get back. Try to get some rest. If you are getting regular sleep, you will be better prepared to make good decisions, be more patient with your child and deal with the stress in your life. 

Consider keeping a journal. Louise DeSalvo, in Writing as a Way of Healing, notes that studies have shown that “writing that describes traumatic events and our deepest thoughts and feelings about them is linked with improved immune function, improved emotional and physical health,” and positive behavioral changes. Some parents have found that journaling is a helpful tool for keeping track of their children’s progress, what’s working and what isn’t. 

Be mindful of the time you spend on the Internet. The Internet will be one of the most important tools you have for learning what you need to know about the “special need/diagnosis,”  and how to help your child. 

Unfortunately, there is more information on the web than any of us have time to read in a lifetime. There may also be a lot of misinformation. Right now, while you are trying to make the most of every minute, keep an eye on the clock and frequently ask yourself these important questions: 
• Is what I’m reading right now very likely to be relevant to my child? 
• Is it new information? 
• Is it helpful? 
• Is it from a reliable source? 
Sometimes, the time you spend on the Internet will be incredibly valuable. Other times, it may be better for you and your child if you use that time to take care of yourself. 

Hire an advocate: Simply hiring an advocate can be immensely freeing; having someone else’s perspective, understanding, and on call expertise can eliminate insurmountable stress. Advocates are wonderful, well-educated, and very caring people. Their goal is to educate you the parent, the school, and the child to understand better exactly what is best for your child’s academic, social, behavioral, program needs while taking the burden off your hands..

Need help?

Want advice?

Call Special Needs NJ. LLP                      (973) 534-3402

or email: specialneedsnj@hotmail.com 

 

 

 

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